What Happens When Everyone Is
Afraid of the Coach?

There's a difference between authority and fear, and it seems that not everyone is aware of that.

You want a kid to respect authority because where would the world be right now if everyone isn't taught that when they'relittle? You're supposed to listen to what someone older than you is saying because they know better, and you're supposed to respect them because that's polite.

Some kids are snowflakes, and that's just how they are.

They'll whine and cry as soon as someone looks at them weirdly, and there's not that much to be done about that. They're afraid of everything, and they'll eventually grow out of that.

But if you have a team of players and all of them are afraid of the coach? Something's fishy there.

And it's not like this is rare.

A scene where a coach loses it on a bunch of kids because someone missed an easy pass happens more than anyone wants to admit, and the funny thing is that not many people (parents included!!) will say something.

It Starts Small

If you're expecting a coach that's all smiles and compliments, then you're living in a fairytale. That's not going to happen, and that SHOULDN'T happen because it's not good for the kids. It's okay to give them a little push, and it's okay to tell them that they could do better.

Being strict isn't inherently bad, but being mean? Now, that's an issue alright.

We won't go into the psyche of a full-grown adult taking out their frustrations on little kids because this article would end up being 18 pages long, so let's focus on what that does to the kids. But in short, if someone's acting like that, they're just a cretin.

It usually doesn't start big. A kid misses a penalty, and the coach starts yelling.

It's not really a pleasant sight, but it's not the end of the world, either. Then it happens again, but this time, the coach calls the kid useless in front of EVERYONE. And that's not right.

The other kids notice this, too, and they know it's only a matter of time before they're being called names, too. But they're not stupid, so they figure that it's better to keep quiet and do as they're told; otherwise the coach will get angry again.

The interesting (and tragic at the same time) thing about this is how quickly everyone gets used to it.

A coach absolutely humiliates a 10-year-old, and although there could be a few weird looks among parents, by the 15th time it happens, nobody bats an eyelash. "Eh, that's just how he is." Some parents might even think that's the reason why kids are playing so well, but think about the kids for a moment.

Who cares that they're winning when they're scared and stressed all the time? That's not discipline but straight-up abuse.

Why Nobody Says Anything

It makes no sense, does it? If someone's taking out their frustrations on a bunch of kids, nobody in their right mind would put up with it.

And yet, people do.

The Kids Want to Stay on the Team

A kid who loves soccer wants to stay on the team, and if they get the coach mad, they risk losing their spot. It's that simple. The coach is the one who can take all of it away, so speaking up is too much of a risk.

It's easier to put up with whatever's happening.

Nobody Wants to Be THAT Parent

You know that what's happening isn't okay, and the parents around you know that, too.

But you know that one annoying guy who's always fighting with the coach because they think their kid should play more, their kid should be the captain, their kid is the next Messi, their kid this, their kid that. Nobody wants to be that guy, so nobody says anything.

If only people knew how big of a difference there is between complaining and standing up for what's right.

Winning Makes Abuse Easier to Ignore

A coach who wins game after game is pretty popular with the club, so if someone complains about them, the officials will probably want to brush them off. Unfortunately, good reputation doesn't always go hand in hand with good behavior.

One good example of that comes from the documented accusations against Fr. Lawrence Mullins in Joliet and Naperville.He was a coach and worked with kids, but what happened is that he ended up being accused of sexual abuse.

It just goes to show how complaints need to be taken seriously.

Conclusion

Do you want your kid playing on a team that's thriving but is also stressed and scared to death of their coach?

Nobody wants that, and nobody should be the person who turns a blind eye when they see abuse happen.

Being strict is okay – it doesn't make someone a bad coach or a bad person.

But being popular doesn't make someone good, and if the coach isn't treating his players well, then he's not a good person. And they're definitely not someone you'd want near your child.